Losing Everything to Gain True Hope
Just a few years ago, I seemed to have it all: a great job in sales for a large corporation, a house in Draper, nice cars, a beautiful wife and friendly stepchildren who I enjoyed.
This month, as I mark one year of sobriety, I realize that God’s definition of “having it all” is much different than what mine was. Really, I have discovered that having it all means having a relationship with God. And that is really all I need.
My life started unraveling in 2017. My wife was prescribed some pain killers and then became addicted. I had been taking a prescription for Adderall, to help with concentration problems I had been having. But we found that pain killers and Adderall were expensive. So, my wife moved to heroin because it was cheaper and I started using meth, which has similar effects to Adderall. When we started using street drugs our lives fell apart. I lost my job, her children were moved to her ex-husband’s home, and we lost our home.
Shortly after losing our home my wife and I separated and I had nowhere to go. I was arrested for drugs and for trying to scheme to get money for drugs. When I was in jail, I talked to some of the other inmates about getting sober. They said that if I really wanted to stop using drugs, I should go to the Rescue Mission. When I was released from jail to work with Drug Court, they allowed me to enter the Mission’s New Life Program while I finished my Drug Court requirements.
I was so relieved. For the first time in a long time, I felt my anxiety dissipate. I didn’t have to worry about where I would stay, or where I would eat, or how to support myself. The Mission allowed me a place where I could focus on me.
I had never really met people or been to a place where they wanted to help you without having any money on the line. I grew up in a culture that seemed to place a big emphasis on money and I bought into the idea that the only reason I had friends or other relationships was because of money. After losing everything, being in a free program, where money was not part of any relationship I had, really changed my perspective.
Because of my previous focus on money, I used to credit everything in my life to myself. But as I learned more about God, I began to see how He had led me to the Rescue Mission and I noticed all the ways He had taken care of me. As I began to give credit to God for the changes that He was doing in me, it made me realize I didn’t need money to survive. I didn’t need drugs to survive. All I really needed was God. He would take care of me.
Today I go to a good church called Missio Dei and started attending a Bible study there. The relationships I have there are different from the relationships I had at the church I grew up in where there was a kind of hierarchy that made the relationships seem not genuine.
I have also been blessed with a great relationship with my community discipler. He is an awesome person and we can talk about our addictions and sins. I don’t feel like I have to hide my sins from him, but we can talk about real-life issues and seek God’s help.
A few months ago, I was able to move to the employment phase of the New Life Program. Despite the economic slowdown, my brother, who owns a sheet metal supply company was able to hire me as a western sales representative. I will be saving up money for another two or three months and then will need to decide where to move when I graduate from the New Life Program and Drug Court. Some of my family members have offered to let me live with them and there are opportunities for sober living homes through Drug Court. I also could go to the Rescue Mission’s transitional house, Freedom House. So, I have some important decisions to make. If you remember, please pray for the options I have. I want God to lead me to the right place.
Another thing I need prayer for is my wife. We are still married and talk but so far, she has not been interested in living a sober lifestyle. She is still doing drugs and doesn’t seem to want to stop. Please pray that my wife would desire a new life of sobriety, maybe even seeking help at the Rescue Mission’s Women’s Center.
Thank you so much for supporting the Rescue Mission. I know there is no other place that could’ve helped me get sober and learn about the true living God. Thank you for making sure there is a place where people without hope can go to get the help they need.